Scott Pilgrim vs the Pokemon Universe
by BrockLee150
Summary: Scott has an unexpected encounter of the pocket monster kind


"What the hell are those things?" yelled Steven stills as he began to have one of his ever popular panic attacks.

"Coooooooool zombies!" Scott said as he stared in awe.

"I know what those are I meant those!" he replied pointing up at the sky as a swarm of black letters began to form.

"Oooohhh those... I think their Pokémon. Hold on a second, let me get my pokedex." Scott said as he began rummaging through the new subspace backpack that Ramona gave him for his birthday.

"Just how big is the space in that bag?"

"Nearly infinite!" Scott replied with a big smile

"Then how the hell are you supposed to find anything?"

"Found it! What did you just say?" Scott said completely ignoring Steven's question.

"Never mind."

"Now let's see what we got here." Scott said holding up the pokedex to the now gargantuan swarm.

"Unknown. [insert pokedex thingy for unknown]"

By now the zombies had come into view and upon closer inspection weren't really zombies. They were just people under mind control.

"Omygosh! Steven Stills the zombies aren't really zombies! Upon closer inspection I see that they're just people under mind control!" Scott said in amazement.

"I can see that...""Hmmm they seem to be getting dangerously close... Should we run?"

"YES!"

"But I've always wondered what it's like being mind controlled..." Scott said as Steven grabbed him by the arm and began to run back towards the chaos theater which had become the new headquarters for the gang since Gideon's explosion into $7,000,000+ in change.

15 minutes later...

"What's Wrong Steven Stills? You seem out of breath."

"That's cuz I had to haul your ass all the way over here!" he said under he's breath.

"It's not like I really care, but what are you $%#&ers doing here?" said Steven's ex, Julie Powers as she walked up to the two.

"Hi to you too Julie." Scott said as he sat down at the bar.

"We come here like every day Julie, why do you ask us that every time?" Steven replied following Scott.

"Whatever." she said promptly before walking away.

"So what'll you be having boys?" asked the bartender as Steven sat down.

"Beer. I don't care what kind." Steven said.

"And you?"

"Oh I don't drink, so I'll have a coke." Scott said.

"Riiiight." Steven said under his breath as the bartender got them their drinks.

"Hey Scott, you got a cellphone in that subspace bag of yours?"

"I think so."

"Good. Pull it out and send everyone a text and tell them to meet us here. We gotta figure out what to do about these Pokémon and the zombies."

Twenty minutes later Wallace walked in drunk as hell.

"Hey Guy! I got your text!"

"Wallace, you seem drunk... where have you been?" Scott asked

"At the bar across the street!" he said with a dumb smile on his face.

"Ok well, where is everyone else?" Scott asked

"Did you forward it to everyone Scott?" Wallace asked in response.

"For-wha?"

Wallace just sighed, pulled out his phone, and worked his magic. Within seconds Knives bust through the doors with knives in each hand ready for battle. The others filed in shortly afterward.

"What happened? Is Scott ok?!" shouts Knives brandishing her blades.

"He's right there" says Stephen pointing at Scott still befuddled by Wallace's magical texting abilities.

"So then what's the problem?" Knives asked

"Yeah, what did he do this time?" Kim asked already annoyed.

"Hey I didn't do anything Kim," Scott retorted "It's these things!" he said pulling out his pokedex displaying the Unknown.

"What are those things?"

"It's a Pokémon! I gotta catch 'em all!" Scott exclaimed.

"They've been taking over people's minds and turning them into zombies!" Stephen screamed freaking out again.

"Neil, Knives, Kim, Stephen, Wallace, Stacy..." Scott quietly counted the group to himself.

"Wait! Where's Ramona?!"

"Maybe she's still on her way?" Neil asked shrugging his shoulders.

"Send her another text genius." Kim instructed.

Scott did as he was told and vigorously tapped away at the keyboard of his cellular device. A few seconds after Scott hit send his phone began to ring. It was Ramona. Everyone could tell because Scott had a special ringtone for her number. He joyously picked up the phone, glad he could finally make sure she was alright.

"Ramona!"

"Hello Scott..." answered a deep raspy voice.

"You, you're not Ramona! Who is this?"

"You don't recognize my voice? I guess it does sound different. You did chop me up into pieces back in volume 6."

"You're... Wallace, who did I chop into pieces?" Scott turned and whispered to the half-conscious Wallace.

"Gideon you stupid %#$ !" Julie shouted from the store room behind the bar.

"I still don't get how she does that with her mouth... Gideon! What have you done with the woman I love?" Scott bellowed in his most commanding voice.

"Oh you mean Ramona? She's here with me." Gideon put the phone to Ramona's ear.

"Scott! Don't come after me! It's a trap! Gideon's using the Pokémon to-" he took the phone away before she could reveal any more of his plan.

"Ramona!" Scott yelled into the phone

"Anyway Scott, if you chose to come after her, we'll be waiting in pallet town. Have fun finding your way there. Hahah-" Scott hung up mid laugh.

"Bad news guys. Gideon's back and he's got Ramona."

"Ok well we still have these goddamn zombies roaming the streets!" Stephen reminded everyone.

"Oh right... Wait a minute!" Scott remembered something. "Pallet town is in the Kanto region, and Kanto exists in... Pokémon! Gideon must have found his way into the game!"

"Which explains why they're running rampant outside." Stephen added.

"So what are we gunna do guy?" Wallace asked finally starting to sober up.

"Uh... Gear up then find a way to get to pallet town?" Scott asked in response.

"Where can we go to 'gear up'?" Kim also asked

"Uh..." Scott began to zone out from all of this thinking.

"We could go to Honest Ed's (see volume 3)" Stephen suggested suddenly.

"Ok then! Let's go!" Scott yelled pointing at the door.

"Uh I think I'll stay here with knives and uh... Hold down the fort." Neil said, backing out of the adventure.

"As will I," Wallace added "the only action I'm looking for involves men." he said with a sinister smile.

"Eh ok Wallace... Are you sure Neil? It could be fun!" Scott wasn't the best at convincing people.

"Come on man! In not even that much of a main character! Just go!" Neil replied getting angry.

"Ok….. For real this time! Leeeetts gooooo!" Scott yelled at the top of his lungs starting for the front door.

"Scott wait!" Wallace called

"What?"

"That's where the zombies are coming from."

"Oh uh ok we'll go out the back." Scott barricaded the doors with a few chairs and walked towards Neil.

"Good luck with knives. She's crazy..." Scott whispered in his ear and walked towards the back of the chaos theatre. Neil simply shrugged and went to the bathroom.

Strangely, the back entrance of the chaos theatre led to a lower basement level that had only one door with a star. A subspace door.

"A subspace door? There's no telling where that'll end up!" Stephen yelled going back into panic mode.

"So?" Kim replied

"Let's hold hands so no one gets separated." Scott suggested.

"I think I'm willing to take that chance." Kim said as she walked through the door.

"Ok..."Scott said, slightly disappointed as he followed behind her.

"Wait for me guys!" Stephen cried not wanting to be left alone.

Believe it or not the subspace door ended in the middle of Honest Ed's. It was in the wall a few feet off the ground. As Scott and Kim walked out the door they fell on top of each other leaving them in an awkward position.

"Get off of me Scott! Ramona might like it when you lay on top of her but I don't. Save it for her!" Kim yelled as she pushed him off.

She hid her face beneath her sleeve and turned around to hide how red her face had become. Stephen, having gained much momentum from running through subspace, flew out the door and landed in a clothing rack. Once everyone had gotten up and calmed down they studied their surroundings. It was a confusion of clothing, knick-knacks, and other silly trinkets.

"Ahhhh! My eyes!" Scott screamed in pain.

"Yep we're here." Kim groaned.

"So like what do we need?" Stephen asked

"Well if we're going to Kanto, we're going to need pokeballs, a lot of pokeballs. Find things to help you catch Pokémon." Scott replied.

"What does that even mean?" Kim groaned.

Stephen sighed and said "Come on I'll show you. Scott meet us at the entrance in an hour."

"Ok." Scott said as he began to rummage through the nearest bargain bin.

The first thing he found at the bottom of the bin was a pack of star shaped stickers. On the packaging it read: 'Subspace stickers! Attach them to any door to turn it into a temporary portal to subspace!' Scott glanced around, quickly tore off the tag and shoved the stickers in his pocket.

"These might come in handy." He snickered to himself.

Scott also found a few six-packs of pokeballs and various healing items all of which he inconspicuously snuck into his nearly infinite backpack. He even found a collapsible bicycle and an item finder. When he felt he had stolen enough merchandise, he head for the entrance. Stephen and Kim were just exiting the checkout line as Scott reached the entrance.

"Did you buy some good equipment?" Stephen asked

"Uh yeah I 'bought' a whole lot of things. What did you get?" Scott replied nervously.

"Uh Kim and I got a couple of Mythril baseball bats and some healing items." Stephen replied

"Mythril baseball bats? We have to catch the Pokémon not beat them to death! That's like animal cruelty or something!" Scott began to scream.

"Whatever man... if they can attack us I feel like I should be able to attack them." Stephen shrugged.

"Don't come crying to me when you get arrested by a hoard of Officer Jennys..." Scott murmured.

"Hey you, with the backpack!" a couple of security guards were making their way toward Scott.

"What do they want?" Stephen asked Scott.

"Gee I dunno. Let's get out of here guys!" Scott pulled out the subspace stickers and slapped one on the back of the entrance door.

"I hope this works..." Scott opened the door and jumped in, dragging Kim and Stephen with him. The door shut behind them and the sticker, having been used up, fell off the door and shriveled up.


End file.
